they would.

Sometimes I feel the reason it's so hard to have a relationship in this day and age is because relying on people is frustrating. If you can't rely on friends to keep plans, or people to arrive on time, how can you trust someone with your heart? How can you fully believe in someone else when the chances of people coming through is slim? It's a scary world. Trust is so important it is absolutely ridiculous.
xoxo,
Sam

oh, movies...learn a new trick!

Okay, so today I hadn't slept and I started watching the NCIS marathon. For those of you who don't watch NCIS, watch a marathon of it. It's great. Literally one of the best shows ever. Well, one episode a woman stabs a sailor, and the idiot pulls it out and bleeds out right on the sidewalk of a busy street. REALLY?


so, I've devised my top ten pet peeves movies exaggerate on.


10. "Things can't get any worse." - You know that's a telltale sign that something worse is about to happen! Seriously, I know out of 6 billion people, there's got to be a new way to forewarn us shit is about to go down, or even better...just bam! it happens. Has anyone seen Boogeyman where he is driving back to the house and out of nowhere, a ridiculous crow just smashes into his windshield. It gave me a mini-heart attack. That's the stuff we like to see!


9. Stay down. - You know, I can respect someone sticking up for what they believe in, or wanting to keep dignity but if someone beats you to a pummel, seriously don't reach for the chair to pull yourself up and stumble onto the couch making your way for beating number 2. Why? I'd stay down.


8. The trusty kitchen knife. - Really? My first choice would be a gun. With stabbing, you really have to get close to someone, chances are it's very gory and not from experience, but it's very hard to stab someone. Most of the time the little sissy stab is not enough to do anything, it's a surface wound and stabbing someone completely is very strenuous. Ps. My second choice would be a bat.


7. Straight on down the road. - If someone is chasing you in a car, it's probably not the wisest decision to run in a straight line directly in front of the car. Instead find barriers, obstacles, run zigzags at least make it hard to maneuver the car. If a car is dodging obstacles, chances are it can't go near as fast to obliterate you!


6. Is it dead? - Often, too many times, the "bad guy" gets killed....or so we think! Then, "awww, happy moment.." flash to an empty room, a bare floor, or just rubble. Oops, you didn't kill the bad guy, you just pissed them off.


5. Shooting randomly in a car - I thoroughly enjoy action movies but sometimes the pointless shooting in a high speed car chase drives me nuts. I like action, so I want a see a tire blown, a couple of flips and some kick ass times.


4. Hi! Come in - Open windows are also a big exaggeration. Seriously, leave a window open after a long, weird, bizarre day...you know what's gonna happen. Big, scary monster/bad guy is gonna find his way into your home and try to kill you. Why let that happen?


3. Conflicts with guns/knives - When two people are struggling and one of them has a weapon, it always seems one of them gets shot, or stabbed or maimed. I can't stand that!


2. Watch your backside. - In movies, it always seems someone is getting jumped from behind. You know why? They always want to walk into a room without looking first. When you hear a noise, the first thing you do is check your entryways! If there's one thing, civilians always skip that! Be like the repetitive cops, and be too cautious coming in doorways, hallways, opening rooms and etc.


1. Let me just, *chokes, falls, and bleeds* - My ultimate pet peeve in movies is when they pull out whatever impaled them. If it looks like a scary wound, (chest cavity area/face) and you pull the weapon out, you are not going to continue to have an epic battle scene for 5-10 minutes...you're probably dead sucker! Seriously though, if you're ever stabbed, or impaled, that object has now fixed itself into body traffic. You remove it, and chaos ensues. You bleed out, you do damage, it's a lose-lose for you. Knives for example, don't make a clean exit. You got stabbed while it was going in, and you continue to do damage pulling it out. So, leave it, keep it and get your ass in gear for a hospital!
Xoxo,
Sam

"How can we love, if we can't love ourselves?"

I am 20 and loveless. I have been single for 20 years, not for lack of trying. I wouldn’t say I’m ugly, or pretty, I tend to think of myself as an average jane. I have a lot of self-improvement to be made, but I long for a connection with someone. I’ve had some close calls. I’ve had some deep feelings for some people that were one-sided. I don’t talk about it with anyone, because I feel that because they were just feelings they’re not as big of a deal as some of the relationship problems that some of my friends talk about. I do want to put them on here though. Just to say I’ve told someone. There’s four guys who I’ve wanted to tell these things for awhile. So here goes.

C.

You were the first real maybe for me. I know I screwed up a few times when we first started talking but I’ve always wondered what if. Those will be what-ifs I live with forever. I mean, eventually they will float to the back of my head and I’ll think of them once in a blue moon, but you will always be there in the back of my head. You always tell me you scare yourself with how in depth you think and the things you think about but you’ve never scared me. You’ve always been original. I’ve always found that admirable in a world set on repeat. You told me something recently that really hurt my feelings, and before that I always wondered if I would have feelings for you, but you kinda cooled them to a freeze after you told me “I think that’s part of the drive…I enjoy the chase knowing its not ur scene.” For a long time, I wondered why we never aimed for a relationship and now I know why. Then in the days after that, I saw a real you, one that I could find relatable so quickly, it scared me. After we really talked, I figured that I will always have feelings for you, whether they are friendly or more. I hope you find fulfillment in the things you do, don’t ever settle. And I hope you find someone truly in love with you. ALL of you. There’s places you don’t let anyone see. I’m sure I’ve never even seen all of you, but I have a better understanding of you almost five years later after I met you and I care about you deeply. I hope you let her in, make sure you find a girl you can completely give in to, one that never has to worry about you breaking her heart. Don’t be unfaithful to her. Find her, and give yourself a chance to find happiness.

M.

I could have loved you, so easily. It’s scary how much I could have loved you. You were never interested in me that way though, which I can respect. You’ve always been a wavering friend. I don’t think I could rely on you to be there for me all the time, but I know that’s just a part of you. I always felt part of your charm to me was the way you challenged me. You’re like completely opposite from me, so glass half-empty, so in need of cheering up. You’ve been a challenge to be a friend to, but in a good way. I hope that makes sense. You’ve always been someone I enjoyed being friends with. I hope we are friends for a long time, although you need to work on your skills. You came back here but I am scared you’re going to end up leaving again, permanently. Buckle down and figure out what you want from life. Don’t surf your time away. And, you with your “girlfriends are overrated,” don’t give up on love. You haven’t found her yet, but you don’t realize how quickly she can pass you by. And we joke about it every now and then, but if staying here was that important, I would have if you asked me to.

J.

You are easily one of the best guy friends I’ve ever had. You’re also easily the biggest flake I’ve ever known. You’re constantly getting my hopes up, and you’ve kinda burned me out. I love you to death, but you can’t treat friends like trophies. I can’t sit on a shelf for a year, and then be shown off. I need to know you’re proud in being my friend all the time, because I don’t get that feeling at all. You say we are good friends, but I don’t know much about you, just the trouble you get in and your dreams. I feel like I should know you more than that. I feel like I have a right to, being such a good friend. I want to be able to call you and have a conversation, hang out if you’re not busy. I don’t want to catch you on a yearly basis. I want to say I’ve been there for you, and I want to say you’ve been there for me. That’s a friend to me, and that’s what I want you to mean to me.

J.A.

I’m sorry if you ever come across this and don’t see as many kind words as the others. I don’t know you all that well, but I know of the time we’ve hung out. First off, you should know that you’re a catch, but before any girl thinks that you have to. You can’t be questioning yourself, hoping you find a yes from someone else one day. You have to know it, believe it, and make others believe it. You have to stop going around seeing who’s open to whatever you’ve got planned. I think you’re funny, kind, and generally a nice guy. Nice guys finish last though because they don’t do something about it. Don’t let that be the case for you.

xoxo,
Sam

My Inspiration for this page.

"Birds" - Deas Vail

It’s not that there were ever bad intentions—
it’s more that we forgot where to call home. 
From important things that we don’t know to mention, 
it’s the uniform that we put on—the formula we have for love.
xoxo,
Sam

Welcome.

I'm new to posting, so hopefully as we get situated this page becomes better to look at, and more substantial than it is now. Anyhow, my post title and link come from Deas Vail lyrics from their song "Birds." They are such a great band, if you haven't heard of them, please take a listen! Anyhow, see you guys soon,
xoxo
Sam